Fragments
by luckypixi
Summary: A case brings back bad memories for Hotch. How long can he keep it from the team? This is my first FanFic so please review!


Chapter one

The Round Table room was cold. Freezing in fact. Morgan pulled his jumper around him, cursing the FBI. To make funds reach they had to have a few cut backs. That meant the heating in Quantico.

'Morning everyone' Hotch strode in, wearing a long black overcoat over his normal suit. 'I'm sorry to say this, but as we have no new cases, you may as well go home. Unless you want to help me go over some old ones. Which I doubt.' He smiled at his team. They all looked tired, which wasn't surprising; they had just spent two days in New York.

'I'll help' said Emily.

'Me too' said Reid.

'Well, the rest of you might as well stay as well' He fished around in his breifcase and pulled out several, thick casefiles.

'Actually, you all have to stay' JJ walked into the room, clutching a new case file.

'Two little boys, beaten and found in a disused car park. Their brothers and the police think the father is the killer. Says he has a history of violence. We've been asked to help'

'Why? Sounds cut and dry to me' Morgan said.

'Two more boys have gone missing. Last seen with the suspect shortly before he was arrested.'

'Are they any relation to the father?'

'Their his stepsons'

Hotch sat in the chair. Images flashing through his brain of a little boy being thrown across the room, his father leering over him. He pushed the images out of his mind, trying to concentrate on the case. 'Where?' he asked.

'Washington'

Hotch felt a pang. His home town. He sighed, a little too loud.

''Hotch, you okay?' Morgan lent forward.

'Fine' replied Aaron.

'We're gonna take the SUV so you have a bit more time than usual. Gideon wants us there at three. That gives you five hours. See ya then' she flounced out the room, no doubt off preparing the next case.

Hotch sighed again and stood up. He felt even colder now. Pulling his coat around him he turned to the team. They were all looking at him oddly. 'What?' he asked. In answer he received several shaking of the heads and murmurs of 'nothing'. He walked out of the room. He needed to clear his head before the case.

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'What's eating him?' asked Morgan.

'Dunno' said Emily, 'But whatever it is, it must be pretty bad.'

Together they stared at the open door as the boss ran down the stairs.

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_In the car park beside the SUV_

Hotch walked slowly up to the team and climbed in the front, next to Gideon.

'Was beginning to think you weren't coming'

'Why wouldn't I come?'

'I dunno. The guys thought you seemed a bit uncomfortable at the briefing'

'Really?' Hotch turned and looked at the others in the back. 'I'm fine' he said, forcefully.

'That's ok then' Gideon, not wanting to take the subject further turned on the ignition and drove away.

On the way, more details of the case seeped through. 'Father has a history of violence, like I said; done time for battery, domestic on his wife and his other children.' JJ grimly revealed. 'He just got out after a stretch for pushing his 3 year old son down the stairs. Poor boy broke his leg and fractured his hip. He was also put away for slapping his other son, who was five and almost perforating his eyeball. Kid stills needs corrective surgery.

'JJ, stop it!' Hotch loudly cut in. The team stared at him. Images were racing through his mind, images he wanted to forget.

'What's your problem?' asked Morgan.

'Nothing'

'Yes there is. I know when something's eating you.'

'It's fine'

'No its not!'

They all lurched forwards as Gideon stopped the SUV suddenly. He turned to Hotch.

'Either you tell us the problem or you're off the case.'

'What?' Hotch was incredulous.

'There's obviously a conflict of interest and if you can't bear to hear the details, then you're no good here.'

Hotch stared at him for a moment.

'Fine'

He climbed out of the SUV and onto the street. He slammed the door shut and started to walk off.

'I'm not having this' growled Gideon. He turned to Morgan. 'You drive. Go around a couple of times and then come back for us. Hopefully I'll find out what's wrong'

'What? You can't just leave! We have a case!'

'Watch me'

With that, Gideon jumped out and ran after Hotch's retreating back.

'I can't believe this' said Morgan as his switched on the ignition.

'They'll sort it out' said Emily reassuringly.

'I hope your right' said Reid.

They drove off.

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'Hey, wait up!'

Hotch turned and watched as Gideon puffed up to him.

'Did you really think it would end there?'

'Guess not' Hotch sighed.

'What's wrong? What's the matter with you?'

'I told you nothing. Nothing I can't handle. God knows I've had enough practise.' He added under his breath.

'Come on. Tell me. I'm not doing this to make a point; I'm doing this as a friend. I hate seeing you like this. Please.'

'Thanks for the sympathy, but I can cope. Just let me get on with it'

'You can't suffer in silence.'

'Who says I'm suffering?'

'Hotch look at yourself!' Gideon shouted in desperation. 'Can't you see what you're putting yourself through?'

'I don't need a shrink!'

'I'm not trying to be your psychiatrist! I'm here as a friend. Someone you can talk to. If you let me.'

They both turned as the SUV drove up beside them.

'Hotch, coming?'

'For God's sake! Can't you all just leave me alone?'

'Not until you tell us what's going on!'

'Fine! If you want to know so badly I'll tell you!'Hotch was breathing deeply, anger coursing through him. 'My dad beat me as a child. My mum watched. Helped even. That's why I can't look at this case. It brings it all back. Being thrown down the stairs, spoons shoved down my throat. Dad's belt hitting my legs. That's how I was brought up. Him coming into my room at night. Every night!'

Hotch was shaking.

'It's alright now. Calm down Aaron' Gideon tried to comfort him.

'Don't you dare tell me to calm down! I tried so hard to avoid this. So hard to keep it to myself. But now you all know.' He broke off, more memories flooding in.

A little boy being shut in a freezing cold shed, handcuffed to a railing as the rain lashed against the roof and the rats scurried over his feet.

Going without food for days and when a friendly neighbour gives some, being beaten for stealing it.

There was more but he blocked them out. The strain was visible; Aaron was shaking, a single tear meandering down his cheek.

He took a deep breath and wiped it away. 'There.' He said in a deep voice. 'Now you all know.' He repeated.

Turning his back he marched back down the road, oblivious to his colleagues open mouths and shocked faces.


End file.
